


You're there with open arms

by paradox_of_retaliation



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Apologies, Confusion, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Relationship Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-22 08:16:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21072872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradox_of_retaliation/pseuds/paradox_of_retaliation
Summary: Sebastian is apologetic for reasons Kimi doesn't understand. Post-Russian GP 2019.





	You're there with open arms

**Author's Note:**

> I FINISHED THIS 7 MINUTES BEFORE MIDNIGHT
> 
> Happy birthday Kimi, you old fart! 🎂
> 
> Title from Zayn's song 'There You Are'.

_In your room?_

Kimi yawned, doing his best to blink the sleep out of his eyes. He had been on the verge of passing out when his phone vibrating next to his pillow had roused him.

_Yeah._ he typed.

The answer came instantly. _Can I come see you?_

Kimi rolled his eyes fondly. _No. I'm tired._

_Not for that!_ Another message followed right after, _I just want to see you._

Kimi glanced at the time. 22:52. He had a painfully early flight home waiting for him in the morning, but if what Sebastian had said was true and he had no intentions of trying anything, Kimi was certain he could still manage to have an adequate night of sleep even with a night time visitor.

_You have the key._

He put his phone away and settled back down, wriggling about a little before finding a comfortable position again. And then he waited. Knowing Sebastian, he'd be racing to the elevator by now. Kimi snorted at the mental image and closed his eyes.

Maybe he could still manage to fall asleep before Sebastian got there, that would surely annoy him. It was Kimi's favourite way of messing with him: falling asleep while waiting for him because he 'took too long'. Kimi knew it made Sebastian's competitive side go haywire and the next time he would be even faster-

The door clicked as it was unlocked and the light of the hallway flooded in.

"Don't even try to pretend you're asleep! I barely took 3 minutes and even you can't do it that fast!"

Kimi snorted again and rolled onto his back, signaling his defeat by showing that he was very much still awake. Let Sebastian have this one, he deserved it today.

"Fucking knew it," Sebastian laughed as the door clicked shut behind him and plunged the room back into darkness. "I would have tickled you if you had actually been asleep!"

"Oh no, how horrible..." Kimi said through a yawn.

His eyes tracked Sebastian's form moving in the dark. He stopped briefly to take his shoes off and then made his way straight towards the bed without even bothering with any of his clothes. Seems like he actually was there just to talk.

"You can turn the lights on," Kimi offered.

Sebastian dropped down on top of the covers next to him. "No, it's okay," he sighed, "This is good."

Kimi didn't say anything, just hummed and turned on his side to watch Sebastian. He could see his eyes were open as the little light that was coming in through the windows was reflected on them.

"Shitty race for both of us, hm?" Sebastian said quietly.

"More for you I think. But yeah," Kimi replied.

A huff in agreement, then Sebastian turned on his side to face him. He sounded curious when he spoke, "What were you doing at the start?"

"Ah." Kimi grinned. "Fucking up."

Sebastian let out a laugh and Kimi felt a soft shove on his shoulder.

"What were _you_ doing at the start?" he shot back.

Sebastian was quiet for a few long seconds, contemplating his answer, before replying, "Being faster, I guess."

"You guess? Either you are faster or you aren't," Kimi teased, "So...were you?"

"I was," Sebastian said, more confidently this time. "I _was_ faster."

Kimi's smile softened. "There you go then. You were being faster and I was fucking up."

Despite the dark, Kimi could see the sudden change in Sebastian's expression. He couldn't tell what it was exactly no matter how hard he tried to squint, but the way Sebastian's eyes dropped down and away from his own told him it definitely wasn't a _good_ change.

"What?" he asked in confusion, "Did I say some-"

Sebastian cut him off, "I didn't want to talk about the race."

"Oh, okay." Kimi pursed his mouth. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No." Sebastian made a frustrated noise. "I said that wrong, that's not it. I meant that's not _why_ I wanted to talk.

Now Kimi was getting curious. "So then what? Is it about Charles?"

"No. Well, not really." Sebastian laughed nervously. "It's actually more about you. And me. Mostly me."

Kimi's brow furrowed in confusion. Why was Sebastian so nervous? Not really anything to do with Charles, but kind of yes? And about him and Sebastian, too?

"You're not trying to dump me, are you?" Kimi asked, amused, but a small hint of his own niggling anxiety at the vague statements just barely bleeding into his voice. He was pretty confident it wouldn't be that, but the question was already out there.

Sebastian's eyes got wide. "No!" He sounded horrified at the idea. "No, no, no, never! I _love_ you!"

Kimi smiled in relief. Sebastian's attempts to rush out explanations - mixed with sweet nothings and apologies - to make sure he was not being misunderstood were still gaining steam when Kimi shuffled closer and pushed the covers down to get his arm free and wrap it around Sebastian.

"Seb." Kimi's smile slowly turned just a tad more amused as Sebastian's mouth snapped shut. It was so quick it was almost comical, and it was a struggle for Kimi to keep his face relatively neutral. "Relax, okay?" he said, gently running his hand up and down Sebastian's lower back.

Sebastian nodded dumbly. To Kimi's ever growing amusement he even took a few deep breaths before seemingly snapping out of it and getting serious again. Well, at least more serious than 10 seconds ago.

"I was stupid and selfish," Sebastian suddenly blurted out.

Kimi blinked in surprise. "You're not selfish," he replied automatically.

Sebastian was about to retort when he paused. He raised an eyebrow. "...But stupid is still right, huh?"

Kimi just gave him an innocent smile. He hoped the effect translated even in the dark. It must have, because he felt another shove on his shoulder.

"I'm trying to say something important here," Sebastian huffed in what was clearly supposed to be a stern tone, but Kimi could tell he too was fighting against a smile.

"I'm not stopping you," Kimi said.

He could _hear_ Sebastian roll his eyes. Then there was a deep sigh.

"I've been an ass. I...realise that now. I know it's a little late but they say it's better than never?"

Kimi could only stare. He had absolutely no idea what Sebastian was going on about. He decided to say as much.

"What are you talking about? You haven't done anything."

"I have!" Sebastian insisted, "More than once! And the shittiest part is I didn't believe I did anything wrong..."

"Did _what_?" Kimi asked in confusion.

"Fucked over your races with team orders!"

To say Kimi was surprised would have been an understatement.

"_You_ didn't give me orders. It was the team," Kimi said slowly, as if he was talking to an idiot.

"But I could have said no."

Kimi scoffed. "Don't be stupid."

"I could have," Sebastian said petulantly, "I should have."

"Is this because of today?" Kimi sighed, "Because it's completely different-"

"No, it's not! Do you know how I've felt these past races? Like shit. Like I've had to focus more on someone else's race than my own. And now today..." Sebastian ran a hand through his hair in frustration and gave Kimi a pained look. "This is what it was like for you? I _saw_ how disappointed you were every time and I just... I told myself it was part of the game and that you would understand and get over it." 

"Yeah..? And I did."

Even in the dark Kimi could tell Sebastian was looking at him like he thought he was insane.

"So you think I should just get over it as well?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then why did _you_ have to get over it?" Sebastian shot back.

Kimi opened his mouth to answer and then closed it. Huh. Now he thought about it, he actually couldn't give a reason.

"...I don't know. It's just what I do. What would have been the point in getting angry about it?"

Sebastian sat up suddenly, jostling Kimi's arm in the process, and leaned over to turn on the bedside lamp on his side of the bed. Kimi had to squeeze his eyes shut at the sudden burst of light.

"See what I mean?" Sebastian said, sounding almost fond. "How do you think that makes me feel? You tell me I have the right to be angry and should ignore orders if I'm faster, but then say the complete opposite about yourself."

Kimi huffed and brought an arm up to cover his eyes. "Was the light necessary?" he whined.

"You were the one who told me I could turn them on."

Kimi huffed again and rolled on his other side to turn his back to the light and, consequently, also Sebastian.

A few seconds ticked by before the bed shifted again and a warm body pressed up against his back. A bearded cheek settled on his shoulder to peer over it, and a strong arm wrapped around his middle and pulled him even closer.

"Will you let me say sorry now?" Sebastian asked softly. His breath tickled Kimi's nose.

"I'm not even angry."

Sebastian sighed. "I made you feel shitty."

"I didn't feel shitty."

"Liar."

Kimi snorted. "I'm not. And you didn't do anything wrong."

"It _feels_ wrong."

"Why would it feel wrong? There's no reason."

Sebastian squeezed him hard enough to hurt a little. "Because...you felt like that because of me." Kimi felt him swallow. "And I hate that, I really hate that."

"And I _told_ you it wasn't because of you," he said, "So stop feeling bad."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

Sebastian made a pitiful noise and tightened his hold even more. "You don't get it."

Kimi let out a small wheeze in protest, but didn't try to push him off.

"How would you feel if _you_ were the one who had been making me feel shitty for years and you didn't realise because you were too busy focusing on yourself? Huh?" Sebastian asked. "It wouldn't make you feel better if I told you to just drop it."

Kimi took the words in. Granted, it was kind of hard to focus with Sebastian still very much cutting the range of movement for his lungs in half with his arm and limiting his air supply, but Kimi felt like he got the gist of it.

"So..." he said, "It's kind of like that time I made fun of your mouth when I was drunk, and you found it funny, but I still felt like an ass in the morning?"

"You said I had rabbit teeth. You have no idea how to insult someone, do you?" Sebastian chuckled softly. "But...yeah, I guess it's kind of like that. But rabbit teeth was actually funny."

"Yours was too, you know."

"What, funny?"

"Yeah. Fun."

Sebastian snorted. "What was fun about it? When I look back at it now it's a miracle you didn't tell me to 'go fuck myself' and retire."

"I wanted you to win. I wasn't going to win another championship anyway." He gave Sebastian a quick smack on the head without looking when it sounded like he was preparing to protest. "Yeah, yeah, I know you like to tell anyone who will listen how good I am, but I'm not fucking stupid."

"You could have won again," Sebastian mumbled, stubborn as ever.

This time, instead of blindly smacking him, Kimi tried to gently pat him. There, there. Sebastian had always had talent in tugging at his heart strings like they were guitar cords.

"I don't need to. You can take care of the rest." He craned his head around until Sebastian's nose was pressing into his cheek. Both of them were getting cross-eyed trying to look at each other like this, but Kimi wanted to get this out now. "What's yours is mine, hm? When you win, I win, too."

Kimi was almost certain he could see Sebastian's eyes watering, but it could just be down to the cross-eyedness.

"You're so fucking lazy," Sebastian said in a wobbly voice, and, yes, he was definitely tearing up. "You literally just told me to do all the work for both of us and tried to make it sound romantic."

"Did it work?"

Sebastian laughed wetly. Before even bothering to try answering with words, he pressed a kiss to Kimi's cheek that was at least 27% snot. Kimi would have felt ashamed for not finding it disgusting if it had been anyone else.

"Fuck yes it did," Sebastian whispered. He peppered more kisses on Kimi's cheek to stress his point. Each one as snotty and somehow not-disgusting as the ones before them.

As the kisses continued, even Sebastian's death grip on Kimi loosened enough for him to finally turn around and participate.

"You're getting your snot all over my face."

"That's _our_ snot. Don't think we only share the nice things."

Kimi wasn't going to argue with such sound logic.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment please! They motivate me to actually finish these things. ;)


End file.
